Hmmm. Today played guitar for worship. People keep telling me I'm soft lehs. But I think I playin v loud le.
Okay-ed I'll try play louder next time. :S
Then went for High-Tea with parents and John.
Had fun in the toilet. xD go figure. LOL. John started it de lo.

Then the lady that asked for the bill thought John was still a child (3-11yrs old)
She was like "May I know how old is he?" *points to John*
Then after that went to Bras Basah buy my guitar pick.
John saw a guitar he liked. Maybe buying next week.
Then read someone's blog la. Bothered about relationship also.
Sometimes I wonder if the world would be a better place without relationships.
I mean if everyone were friends and we can like stay together for life wouldn't that be better ? BUT that also means we'll have to find new way of producing babies la. So until then.. LOL.
Seriously tho, this whole relationship thing is really weighing down on me. Without my crazy poly frens to distract me and supportive church and MF frens, I really dunno what mental state would I be in now.
Its like sometime after realising some things, I feel like I should let go.
But I can't bring myself too. I believe that if you love someone, you want them to be happy la.
Everytime it would be like.. "its hopeless la I should ... "I just can't seem complete the sentence. I feel like there's this super BIG stone stopping the words from coming out.
I believe in your whole life you'll like alot of people(infatuation), but those that you love, there are probably less than 5.
For the first time in my life (bar my parents) I really love someone. Even her flaws. I never knew it so, until the day I tried to let go. Sounds kinda corny but true. I'm sure those in my predicament will understand.
You may say I'm kinda bad but I used to like get over my infatuation for someone by simply focusing on the person's faults. Trust me, it works. LOL. And its effective. =X oops.
Anyway like my fren said, Your heart tells you one thing, your mind another. You never know who to listen too.
Damn. I'm feeling real screwed now. I.. BWAHHHHHHH ! *pulls hair*

QUICK monday can't come fast enough. I need that stupid SAMUEL, amusing WEESIONG, smartass SHARAD, bai se ju ta RYAN, quiet quiet JIANWEI, JEN KAEN, KANG LI.. alot more ! cookiemonster DENISE, perv PEGGY, blind CONNIE, mugger NAZIAH ! the rest of the peeps also! basically my poly frens ! Gosh, they bring so much craziness into my life! HAHA. loves them xD
Of course I still need ALL my church and MF frens. xD

I'm really tired of all this. But I can't let go so easily. DIE la.
I feel like telling myself that however painful it is I must let go. BUT can't.
HELP!
It hurts. It really does.

I'm at a loss for words again. There's alot of things I still wanna say but I can't find the right words. I'm lost.


andthisisbreakingmyheart